I found the World’s BEST lawn mower!!!
It cuts beautifully! (See above.)
It starts on the first pull!
It’s easy to push!
It doesn’t take up too much space!
It doesn’t reek of gasoline!
And…it cost me nothing!!!
Sounds impossible right? Where did I find such an incredible lawn mower?
MY NEIGHBOR’S GARAGE!
His name is Barry. We moved into the neighborhood within six months of each other. We both recently resodded our lawns and we were both in need of a good mower. Well, he found one at the Sears Outlet. And, he got an incredible deal: $170 bucks! (It was on sale or something. He was really excited about it.)
Then he showed me his lawn and how impressed he was with the mower’s cutting capability. I was sold! Actually, I was sold as soon as he said $170. I had one foot in my car ready to cruise down to the Sears Outlet (if he would be kind enough to write down some directions) and get one of my own. My sod was starting to get long and was almost ready for it’s first trim. Even though it was newly installed I wanted to make sure I cut it back to normal length before the HOA sent out one of their “friendly reminder letters.” It was one of those letters that led to me re-sodding the damn lawn in the first place!
Before I put the key in the ignition Barry stopped me. “Why don’t you borrow it from me and see if you like it before you buy it?”
There’s a thought. “Really?” I said.
“Absolutely.” He showed me all the features. We raised the blade to the highest-level, checked the fuel, and started her up.
She purrred. Like a kitten!
Twenty minutes later her bag was full and my lawn looked great. (Save your stamp HOA!)
I swept off the deck with a broom and wheeled it back over to Barry’s house. “Okay, where is this Sears Outlet you speak of?” I asked.
“You know,” Barry said. “It’s silly of you to buy your own lawn mower, especially the same model. Neither of us have very large yards. Let’s just share this one.”
This was a bizarre concept to me because, well, I really don’t like to share. To me the word “share” is something you yell at the kids when they are fighting over who gets to play with a toy or eat the last ice cream sandwich. It wasn’t something that adults did. But he insisted.
“I’m only going to use it for about 1 hour every month. That’s only 12 hours a year. It’s silly for you to get your own. Just share mine.”
A million thoughts raced through my head:
Who’s garage would it sleep in?
Do I have to pay him for it?
What’s half of $170?
Do you think he takes American Express?
Is this going to involve some kind of complex sharing chart where we each have different colored pins? (I don’t really do spreadsheets.)
But Barry didn’t want money or spreadsheets. He wasn’t looking for a revenue stream, he honestly felt it was dumb for two guys to shell out $200 on two different lawn mowers when they could just as easily share one. And, he was right. So, I eventually agreed.
(Okay, it really didn’t take a lot of arm twisting. I hate yard work, so the thought of dropping $170 on something that I didn’t want to do anyway made me nauseous. I would much rather do something I hate for FREE!)
I wonder if Barry wants to share his weed wacker?
QUICK POLL: Is it okay for two grown men to share a lawn mower? Leave your comments below!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
This is a very nice gesture but what happens when it breaks down? This is just asking for trouble! Neighbors have become enemies over less!
If it breaks down well, hey…not my lawn mower! He bought it.
No! You should say if it breaks I'll buy one and share with him!
Right! That's what I meant to say.
LOL, this post was hilarious; and oh by the way am I allowed to use LOL in a blog post or is that reserved for chat and smart phones only?
As to your question "Is it okay for two grown men to share a lawn mower?" I'd have to say…………………………………..I don't think it is, for a couple of reasons.
1. As a guy of a certain age (hey I should make a TV show using that slogan!) I find that too weird. I mean the next thing you know he's then moving on to wanting to share underwear! Can you start to see how sharing a lawnmower one day can lead to unintended consequences later on? This is how drug dealers start out by giving you a few "freebies" then you're hooked! I'd keep an eye on this guy, I think he's up to something!
2. You're a guy aren't you? No need to answer; I'll take your word for it.
As guys we're supposed to love anything with moving parts, hour glass figures and anything that can cause massive damage or loss of life or limb. A lawnmower covers more then one of those criteria so you should have been excited to explain to your wife how important it was for you to go down and get yourself (nay the family!) this must have item. It would have then been your DUTY to note the specs of your competitor….err I mean neighbors mower then made sure you went down and got one even better so you could Lord it over him for years to come.
In closing I hope you've learned a valuable lesson from all this Mark and that you've put a lock on your underwear drawer. I'd highly recommend you revisit the guy hand book and reacquaint yourself with Man Law. Page 38 right after the "The Fish that got away and other whoopers" chapter it clearly states, "Men do NOT share". Read it, memorize it, know it.
-Stephen
PS – Would you please open up your "Reach MILLIONS of Buyers FREE! Promote Your Product On Radio & TV! Read the UNBELIEVABLE Reviews" wso? I missed the end date on that wso by a mere 1 1/2 years and I'd like to buy it.
Yeah. I guess I screwed the pooch on this one…Thanks Stephen!
Mark – the best lawn mower you can buy?
Is the kind that someone else pushes