Cranky Call - The Dog Groomer
Those people that show dogs professionally are really uptight about their mutts genitalia. I mean, it’s not like the dog lost an eye or anything!
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Hot Talk - Madonna and Guy Ritchie, House & Bride for Sale, and “Nuke the Fridge!”
Hot Talk time! Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce. Also, there is a weirdo lady in South Florida who is selling her house and throwing in a bride FREE of charge! Plus, have you heard of “Nuking the Fridge.”
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Top 10 Design Features That Make the New Olympic Swimsuit SUPER-FAST!!!
Top 10 Design Features That Make the New Olympic Swimsuit SUPER-FAST!!! 
10. Patented “Silent but Deadly” propulsion system.
9. Inside of suit lined with trans-dermal, slow-release cocaine.
8. Suits equipped with Verizon High-speed DSL.
7. Supersonic crotch rockets.
6. Hallucinogens in the suit make swimmer believe they are being chased by a shark.
5. It’s just like the one Ghandi wore…(He went on a Super-fast too!)
4. Each suit comes with FREE laser hair removal from Ideal Image
3. Mens suit designed by FedEx, experts at delivering packages quickly.
2. Women’s suit designed by Paris Hilton, the fastest woman on the planet.
1. No restrictor plate.
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Cranky Call - The Dirty Foreigner
I feel gross if I don’t shower at least one time everyday. I couldn’t imagine how this woman feels showering as little as she does. (I’m not even going to discuss her toilet habits! Yuck!)
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Top 10 Reasons Madonna and Guy Ritchie are Getting a Divorce
Top Ten Reasons Madonna and Guy Ritchie Are Getting a Divorce
10. Still blaming each other for “Swept Away”
9. Guy tired of Cone Shaped Bra poking him in the eyes.
8. “Sex” book was evidently a work of fiction.
7. Britney is a MUCH better kisser than Guy.
6. She has decided to adopt a new husband from Malawi.
5. Madonna apparently NOT “Like a Virgin”
4. Her British accent is better than his…
3. She is wayyyyy “Ritchier” than he is!”
2. Guy tired of Madonna yelling out “Oh Sean” in bed!
1. Just never Got Into the Groove…
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Cranky Call - People Magazine
I wanted to sell photos of my new daughter Annabel to People Magazine for millions of dollars…just like the celebs do! They weren’t interested. I’m canceling my subscription.
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Cranky Call - Kentucky Jelly
Gotta love that Kentucky Jelly! Yum, yum!
**This Cranky Call Brought to you by: The Reverse Funnel System. Systems work…People fail. It’s that simple.
HOT TALK - Dale Earnhardt, R. Kelly & Michael Jackson
This week on HOT TALK we covered The R. Kelly acquittal, Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s exciting return to victory lane, and the rumors that Michael Jackson may be headed to Vegas!
QUICK POLL:
Should R. Kelly have been acquitted? Yes or No? Leave a comment with your thoughts!
Cranky Call - The Dollar Store
Love the Dollar Store! Especially when they employee disgruntled, lethargic, and apathetic people like this chick.
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Cranky Call - The Breast Implants
This is the BREAST call ever! I still can’t believe what happened…after years of Cranky Callin’ it still amazes me what people will do!
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