The Best App in the world is, of course, FAN MAIL:
But recently I stumbled across the SECOND best app in the world. It’s called Instagram and it rocks!
It makes the already cool photos I take even cooler. The square shape and the classic filters make documenting events with my iPhone even more exciting. I don’t just tell people what I’m doing, now I can show them in a really amazing way!
Here are some of my favorite Instagram moments:
Antique Mall Finds
First T-Ball Practice
“I bought a Groupon!” yelled my wife. That’s how it started. That’s how it always starts.
My wife has a computer and a credit card, so every few weeks UPS delivers a large cardboard box containing some new item for the house with the dubious phrase “Some assembly required” printed on the side. Only one person in this house assembles anything, and his name is at the top of this blog.
“I bought a Groupon!” yelled my wife. That’s what she said. And that one phrase set in motion a series of events that led to another large brown truck pulling up in front of my house and leaving a large brown box on my doorstep.
This box was different, though. It didn’t contain a lego table or swingset. It wasn’t a dress-up box or bookshelf. Nope, Inside this box was a tree.
This tree:
Only, it didn’t look like that when it came out of the box. It looked like this:
If you have a piece of furniture in your house that is old and gross, you may want to have it reupholstered. I don’t have any furniture in my house that is old and gross, so I took a trip to the local thrift store. They have plenty of old and gross stuff there.
I found this Queen Anne style sofa:
It was in excellent condition. The wooden feet were in great shape as was the cushion. The fabric itself also looked fairly well kept. And the price was right: $98!
The thrift store agreed to hold the sofa for me so I could run home and take some measurements. It’s a big piece and I wasn’t sure it would even fit where I really wanted it (That’s what she said.) Luckily, it fit, so I called the thrift store and gave them my credit card number. I was now the proud owner of an old semi-gross sofa that I could begin to reupholster.
Step 1: Find someone who knows how to reupholster a sofa.
Yes, I could probably buy a knife and a staple gun and try to do it myself, but I don’t really have the time. I am a very busy and important person. Plus, this piece is going to go in my living room. People are going to see it so it has to look professional, not bunched in the corners and covered with random blood stains. (Put me in a room with a staple gun and there will be blood. I promise.)
So, I went right to Angielist.com. If you own a home you must subscribe to Angieslist.com. I think the subscription fee should be built right into your monthly mortgage just like insurance payments and city taxes. Before I call anyone to come out and work on my home I go to Angieslist.com. Here’s what come up when I searched for “Upholstery.”
I settled on Lee’s Upholstery because, well, I knew a guy in college named Neal. He was a real D!@K! There is no way in hell I was going to let him reupholster my sofa. So he was out.
Also, I needed more than just slipcovers too. Sorry Marsha. And, contrary to popular belief not everyone who lives in Florida likes “Tropical Decorations.” So, by process of elimination “Lee’s Upholstery” got my business.
I called up Mr. Lee and he quoted me $450 for the entire job and a time frame of about 3 weeks. That seemed reasonable to me. I mean, I had absolutely nothing to compare it to, but it didn’t make my jaw drop to the floor or cause me to curse out loud, so I agreed. Here was the BEST part…FREE pick up and delivery!!! Mr. Lee was going to pick it up from the Thrift Store and deliver it my house when it was all done! (Neal would never do that for me. D!@K!) Mr. Lee also told me I would need 13 yards of fabric. Hmmmm. Fabric. I forgot about that. Yes. I guess I would need to decide on some fabric. That shouldn’t be too tough, should it?
