Cars 2: Politically Incorrect

I loved Cars. It was a fun and entertaining movie with a great message about what’s really important in life: Friends.

Also, the plot was easy to follow: Lightning McQueen wrecks the road. Lightning McQueen fixes the road. Lightning McQueen helps The King. Mater gets to ride in a helicopter.

Today I took my son to see Cars 2. Yikes. It was “The Pits” (pun intended.)

The overwhelming message in Cars 2 is, “Big Oil companies are evil entities run by cut-throat villians who will kill, torture, and destroy anyone who gets in their way.” Also, “Alternative fuel is great!”

Hey Pixar, keep your politics out of my kid’s movie!

If you haven’t seen it yet here is the gist: (SPOILER ALERT)

The arch-villian is a British petroleum tycoon (take that BP!) who attempts to sabotage an International race in which all the participants use an environmentally friendly eco-fuel. By destroying (yes, they actually kill cars in this movie) several of the vehiclse in the race, he hopes to to show the world that alternative fuel is dangerous and nothing beats Big Oil!

I looked for Al Gore’s name in the credits, but I didn’t see it.

Luckily, my 4 year-old didn’t catch onto the overbearing environmental and anti-industrial message of the film. Unfortunately, he didn’t catch onto the plot either.

Who is that car, Daddy?

Who is that OTHER car, Daddy?

Who are all THOSE cars, Daddy?

Why are they shooting at Mater?

Is that car bad car? I thought he was a good car?

Will you buy me more Junior Mints, Daddy?

Too many new cars, not enough old cars. Too much spy stuff, not enough racing.

Also, for some reason Lightning McQueen, who became an International Superstar after the first Cars flick, is forced to take a back-seat to Larry the Cable Guy’s Tow Mater, who finds himself an unlikely hero when he is mistaken for an American super-spy and drafted into British Intelligence to hunt down a gang of history’s biggest “lemons” who have turned evil because the world has turned it’s back on them. Huh? (I don’t think I even understand what I just wrote. Hang on, let me go back and read it again.)

I think Pixar made the biggest mistake in entertainment: They forgot who their audience is: Kids.

Kids don’t know what “lemons” are. They don’t get excited by “espionage.” They like it when Lightning McQueen sticks his tongue out and says “Ka-chow.” They like when Mater tips tractors over by revving his engine. They don’t get any of that fun stuff in Cars 2.

Instead, they get an over-their-heads pulp-fiction novel starring SOME of their favorite characters from the last film, and a whole crop of NEW ones, many of whom have foreign accents making them difficult to understand. It totally misses the mark.

One scene in particular shows Mater at a sushi bar demanding a large plate of wasabi, which he has mistaken for pistachio ice cream. He burns his mouth and causes a scene when he screams through an up-scale party event and laps up water from a decorative waterfall. This would be somewhat funny if the audience had any clue as to what was going on. Seriously, how many kids in the Cars demographic have ever tried wasabi? For that matter, how many have ever had pistachio ice cream?

The best part of the film was near the beginning when Lightning McQueen returns to a rejuvenated Radiator Springs to find his old buddy Mater waiting to take him tractor-tipping again. That lasts about 5 minutes. Then it becomes a crazy, convoluted, crime film, peppered with anti-industrial propaganda.

I hope whoever did write the film had a really really great time because I imagine, for them, Cars 2 is the end of the road.

Did you see Cars 2? What did you think? Post your comment here.